Love in the Am

     I'm sharing this story because self reflection had a face I appreciated at 13 years old. Though I didn't understand why tears would form in the corners of my eyes when I thought about him; all that really mattered was that he loved me, and I loved him. My cousins and I met up with my best friend at the time, downtown at Game Works in Circle Centre Mall for an evening of arcade gaming and flirting. It was only six of us girls all together, but he brought eight other guys with him. Though the group was uneven, us girls didn't care because we already knew who we were crushing on, and who was not going to get any play. The evening started off slow and awkward, but as time went on, everyone was off enjoying their selves, playing air hockey, basketball, and my personal favorite, the "Need For Speed" racing games.
    A couple weeks later, my best friend called to inform me that one of his cousins liked me. Great. At first I thought it was the guy I kicked it with at Game Works, but the description didn't match my crush. Apparently, he was one of those extra guys, and I had no idea what he looked like. But that didn't mean I couldn't talk to him... RIGHT? Well.. About a month later, I had grown very fond of this kid and our once a week conversations, quickly became more frequent. He held my attention and kept me laughing.
     During our time together he became really important to me and Friday became our late conversation nights. He was the only person that took interest in me during eight grade. I had moved from Haughville and out of Wayne Township district to IPS, and I was utterly alone. All the students knew one another and they could smell my 'NewComer' fragrance as soon as I stepped foot in homeroom. Feeling like an outcast and missing my old friends and neighborhood, I became attached to him and his vow to be my friend.
    It had been three months talking to him and I had yet to see what he looked like. "I would like to see a picture of you, so I can have a visual of who I'm talking to all the time." "Oh yeah I forgot to tell you I just got a Myspace page. Go check me out," he said that made me believe to be a smiling response.
    I found his page. Clicked on the "profile pictures" link. As I'm doing so my heart began to pound heavier than usual, anticipating an incredibly handsome boy that I just happen to miss, being hung up on a crush. The the irritation set in. Two photos. One group picture of about six guys. The other of the faceless picture above. GREAT.
     About six months had passed and our relationship grew stronger as so had our love for one another. Even though he wasn't the cutest of the guys in the Myspace picture, he was the tallest and pretty muscular for a 15 year old. He started sending gifts for my birthday and Christmas, and even when he had extra money to buy shoes. Though we never saw each other in person, due to him living on the other side of town and going to different schools, I loved him as if we were meant to be together.
   Freshman year was nearing and my family and I were packing up to move back into the beloved Wayne Township district. I knew that all my friends from elementary and junior high would all be with me venturing into our high school years, and I couldn't wait for school to begin. But much like all good things, they must come to an end. Something happened between my baritone voiced friend and I... Distance. He called less. He barely reminded me that he loved me still, and I just didn't know why. I couldn't hold onto him any longer. Knowing that much was a pain I never knew existed. And I cried.

Reflecting back to the times where I first loved, has shown me that many things that we deem to be good and perhaps everlasting, won't be, here on Earth. I learned to appreciate another human for who they truly showed to be and allowed my emotions to follow suit. I was young and naive for falling in love with a voice that only rocked me to sleep after a long night of conversations. But the reality of it proved he had fallen for me as well. Not ever wanting compensation for those gifts he sent, and when we did make plans to meet, it was always in a friendly setting. There are good guys out there that only wish to please the lady friends in their life. And for that I thank you. And I love you.