Induced Sobriety..

"Breaking up is hard,
to move along is even harder.
Its over she got colder now
can't locate where her heart is." -Wale

The sun shines brighter when forgiveness and acceptance pumps self awareness within your blood stream. Self esteem.
"ITS STEAM FROM YOURSELF!" Only you determine what effects you. Self control becomes easier when you truly realize that forever doesn't last always in peace. And neither do troubles. Pain. Tears. Hate. Deceit. And most importantly, INSECURITY.
I'm reminded of the time when my first love held me so tight throughout the night. I had no business being there, but the rebellion tasted so sweet against his lips, felt so comfortable between his sheets, as our love rocked us to sleep.
It rained that night.
I wanted to be with him forever. We didn't care that our love seemed ridiculous because of our age. If anything, me being a virgin during our time together was the purest point of it all. We had what the majority longed for as an adult; friendship first. Found common ground even though the intention wasn't to fall in love. It wasn't to complete each others' sentences, or telepathically understand each others gestures. We just loved. With no limits. Unadulterated.
That freedom was beautiful.
I still hope to find forever but I know those circumstances won't be the same. I wouldn't want it to.
I've learned so much from you all.
I wrote this small thought back in February:

"Running on emotional circuits just to get rolling blackouts.
Some days its so nice.
The dawn of a new day sends endorphins while I sleep
from yesterday's success
and I think less of my pain.
Then the lights flicker.
All the hope and motivation to stay up on life
dies a slow tear my lotus Queen can't handle."

Love is real.

Peace